Search Bruce Schneier Facts
- Bruce Schneier doesn't need facts. With one roundhouse-kick he can generate a formal proof for whatever he needs.
- Bruce Schneier can determine if a program terminates just by looking at it. And then the program terminates itself.
- If we built a Dyson sphere around Bruce Schneier and captured all of his energy for 2 months, without any loss, we could power an ideal computer running at 3.2 Kelvin to count up to 2^256. This strongly implies that not only can Bruce Schneier brute-force attack 256-bit keys, but that he is built of something other than matter and occupies something other than space.
- Bruce Schneier can cook a perfect prime rib
- Bruce Schneier can smell weak keys.
- Bruce Schneier can see SHA-256 collisions by holding a hash up to a mirror and crossing his eyes.
- Bruce Schneier can break elliptic curve cryptography by bending it to a circle.
- Bruce Schneier can van eck phreak Waldo on every page from three bookshelves away.
- Bruce can factor arbitrarily large numbers using only a slide-rule with both hands tied securely behind his back, but he has never had to because the last person who tried to tie his hands behind his back woke up in a seedy hotel in Southern Mexico without a kidney.
- Bruce Schneier can divide by zero.